Thursday, 21 February 2008

Barry is ill agian

I just wrote this to a friend a few minutes ago - to save writing it out again this is the position tonight

Barry seemed to get better from the PCP pneumonia.

Since he has been out of hospital he seemed so much better and was doing a few things around the place for the last week or so and was eating like a horse and putting on the weight he had lost
And they started him on HIV antiviral drugs - so we were so hopeful - but in the last day or so the PCP pneumonia has come back, so I am pretty sad right now and very worried we will not get the few years together we so hope for.

He has to go to the hospital first thing tomorrow to get more medication and I guess to see if he needs to be admitted again - but he is going to request that if at all possible he is treated at home and not in hospital - the last thing he or I want is for him to be in hospital, especially if this thing does kill him sooner than we hoped.

It may not come to this as he is not yet anywhere as ill as he was a few weeks ago. But I do not think we can at this time not rule out that he will be and that AIDs will not kill him soon. - Sorry to sound so morbid but it isn't in some way - as this is the true position and in a way we really are coping very well.

We are closer than we have ever been and I do not think many couples are privileged to be as close as we have been or as close as we are now. The funny thing is - that I am so happy we are now together and he will never again go back to sea - even if that time is short in a funny way it is a great relief to me - I really hated him going away that much!!

Of course I would swap him being ill for him going back to sea in a flash- but this will never happen so I am just glad he is here right now and we both want him to stay at home - whatever happens.
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