Friday, 25 April 2008

Am I a Hypochondriac?

Am I a Side Effect Hypochondriac!

I do hope that due to HIV and having to take theses meds I am not going to turn into a side effect and HIV symptom hypochondriac!

As many seem to, judging by postings on forums, and the signs are there that I will too!

There are of course some who feel I am a hypochondriac anyway :-(
But I am not. I do not think so as I have never in my life imagined I have a symptom that I do not nor over exaggerated one or had psychosomatic symptoms

( although as a kid with a food intolerance I was constantly being accused by parents, teachers, doctors that my symptoms I suffered constantly from eating food I was intolerant of were psychosomatic, but they were not - unfortunately they were very real and if they had taken me seriously I may have found out years before what food made me ill, and spent less of my life suffering!)

However I do HATE being ill, and will mention it if I feel unwell, and far too often. Hence why I have in the past been thought to be a hypochondriac.

Well yesterday I suffered what I can only imagine were side effects but in a very strange way - if they were not side effects, god knows why I felt like I did?

Yesterday in the space of a day I feel like I ran the whole gauntlet of an infection or virus - in less than 15 hours

  • I woke up feeling sick with hot and cold flushes later I started sweating with the hot flushes. My glands came up and I felt feverish, then I started to have a really mussy head, a bit like my head used to feel before a migraine, but I did not get a migraine. I started to feel dizzy on and off by the early afternoon, but tried to fight it and do a few things. Unfortunately one of those things was to gloss paint some garden patio items - and the gloss paint of course made my dizziness and nausea worse!!

  • I then got a sore throat, but then it miraculously went again!!Off on on throughout the day I felt alternatively sick and hungry, but if I tried to eat I felt sick again. In the afternoon I felt overwhelmingly tired and had to lie down, but could not sleep. I got up and then had a splitting headache and a mild sore throat again. I then gave up and resorted to a bottle of red wine!!!!

  • I know I should not drink, but it worked for me. I did not drink the whole bottle, about 2/4 and actually my headache went I stopped feeling so sick and went to bed just with hot and cold flushes and a slight sore throat!!the wine was not all I drank yesterday.
    As unfortunately and peculiarly - as most find alcohol make them feel sick not stop nausea - I find alcohol always makes me feel better ( probably means I am an alcoholic!!) and a sip of gin deals with nausea for me as well or better than any medicine including anti emetics. So I did have a few sips of gin in the day, but really only sips, probably did not drink more than the equivalent of one double gin -but it was still yet more alcohol.

    How am I going to give it up altogether when it helps me feel better so easily? Why would I want to continue to feel nauseous when I know a sip of gin may put it right for a while?

  • By this time I was sure I must be coming down with Caja's cold or virus. As poor Caja sufferers colds and bugs all the time - must be her age as their is nothing wrong with her immune system - but even with HIV neither Barry or I usually get them from her.

    After sleeping briefly I woke up again at about 12.30 am with a really terrible sore throat, so thought 'this is why I have been feeling so odd? I am going down with Caja's cold' But then I woke up again about 2am, feeling perfectly well with no symptoms at all and went peacefully to sleep until about 6.30 am!!!!

  • But consequently, because all day my symptoms were changing so often and so rapidly, I spent the day saying things like, now I feel sick, now I feel dizzy, now I have a sore throat, now I have a headache, now I am hot, now I am cold, now my head is muzzy, now I feel sick again...............................

But my family - neither Caja nor Barry took a blind bit of notice of me!!!
All I can assume is that while I do not think I am a hypochondriac I am more of one than I thought, or I mention how I feel more than I should, even before HIV and they are used to me giving a running commentary or rapidly changing symptoms throughout a day!!

But even so, yesterday theses symptoms were so rapidly cycling and coming and different things coming and going in such quick succession, I just could not help mentioning them when I had yet another symptom yet the previous one had gone - it was all very strange!!

There was an added difficulty with Caja as the poor girl was relay unwell herself, with a very sore throat, cold and generally a virus. And she wanted my attention in the morning and wanted me to get her something for it. And while actually I can not do anything more for her than she can do herself - I suggested honey and lemon but I think she wanted me to make it for her -

But in the past I have always been very attentive when she is ill - but yesterday when she wanted me to care fro her, I jsut felt so horrible ( pukey, dizzy , just horrible) so I did not give it to her and Caja thought I was being grumpy and rejecting her, even though I explained I was feeling very unwell too!!! This made me feel so guilty on top of feeling ill!!!

Anyway as no one took any notice me at all - no one even seems to register I had even sen when I reported yet another symptom - so much for Barry keeping and eye on me!! This made me feel that if anyone is going to take any notice of me at all in the future when I feel unwell, I had better refrain form mentioning all but the most severe of symptoms.

God I hope today is better

So far does not seem to be looking good.
Woke up feeling fine at 6.30, made a cup of tea and took it back to bed, drunk it and then went hot then went dizzy, then I felt suddenly sick and had a reaching attack but thankfully was not sick ( I HATE being sick) I feel sort of weak, but no sore throat, but do not feel 'right' at all.

So looks like I - and my family - are in for another day of side effect hypochondria!!!!

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