Memory seems to have gone

Posted this somewhere else . As in such a state today with my memory, could not even negotiate Facebook today.

And that is REALLY worrying. As been on Facebook since it came to the UK in about 2004?

So it is now second nature to me now and as easy as just living.

I am so VERY worried about my memory now.

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Not sure I remember even my name right now.

Had a bad few days re my memory

I often do but this was so really worrying.

This week I have had a whole week of health appointments.l That I have carefully written down, in my physical calendar., on my Google calendar, on my phone. Yesterday I knew I had one then, another today and another on Thursday.

Yesterday was the first day in over 2 months I was allowed to drive, since my hand operation. So was determined to do it all myself. Drive myself, remember myself, and not rely on Barry.

He has his own health issues and he does not need me to be so dependent.

So I got there, and on time. For what I thought was my 3.50pm diabetic nurse appointment, only to find I should have been there for my 3.10pm doctors appointment to review my meds.

I had got the times right but had transposed the appointments???

Thankfully our HIV medications are separate. Not issued by the GP. But every 4 months by the hospital at the HIV clinic.

So at least I have them.l

But only because Barry has HIV to and we make the appointment so we go together and he drives. If I did not have him. I may well miss that or get it wrong too.

But re my routine meds and my GP appointment. I had missed it?? I had missed my doctors appointment and now I have to remember that I had to go back today for my diabetic nurse appointment.

But have to see my doctor as they will not issue and more repeat prescriptions for my regular meds until I see a doctor? Blood pressure, statins, pain stuff etc.

So while it was a was a wasted trip, I thought at least I can book another appointment for the one I'd missed while there.

So I tried but told I cannot book it there.

That the only way to get even a regular appointment at my GP is to ring in at 8.30am and make a routine appointment?? I had had this appointment booked for over 4 weeks. But now it seems you cannot even book a routine appointment, face to face, while in the surgery.

I also had another, very worrying, memory loss while there.

I had to put Barry's repeat prescription in. And collect my neighbours medications as he has had a stroke and cannot walk further than a few yards and cannot drive atm, so we do this and a few other things for him..

And I forgot!! How could I forget this???

I was half way home before I remembered and had to go back!!

When I got back, I had to give his name. To get the prescription.

So having forgotten it once before - my memory loss is not new but worse now -

So having forgotten it before I had rehearsed his surname, Grenville, so I could get it right and pick up his meds.

So I said can I have Mr Gr********'s my neighbours medications. They asked me his address, and I gave it OK - I should as only lived next door since 1985!!

But then asked me what his first name was............................

I could not remember it!! I TIRED AND I TRIED?

But my brain just did not compute. Yet he is my neighbour.

My only neighbour??

And one of us pops into see if he is OK every single day, since September when he had the stroke. And we do what he needs and so I well know his first name. ~Yet no way could I recall it when asked ???

And yet I thought I was doing so well??

Well to just get there and remember I had to pick up his meds anyway. Yes I had got my own appointment wrong. But was happy I could at least do this for someone.

Thankfully the pharmacist on yesterday knows me, and very well. She may be should not have, but she saw my problem and whispered his first name to me, for me to repeat and get his meds.

Thank you so much C***

But before I went yesterday, I thought i was doing so well.

As before I had to leave for the health appointment I was so trying to be so together.

Got up at 6.30 am, my usual time.

Then cleaned cupboards in the kitchen. Cleaned other things that so need doing. And are rarely ever done. I was determined now my hand is usable to start to catch up.

And went up to the freezer in the shed to get stuff out for yesterdays evening meal.

I thought I was so on the ball!

But the freezer was so very full.

Has to be now living where we do. Living where we do I have had a very big freezer for years. As I do not want to go to the shops every 4 days or less, if not going in the direction where a shop is.

I guess for some it may seem the shops are not that far. About 5 miles to the nearest supermarket. Maybe less that 3 to the nearest shop at all?

But all require me to drive too.

But now I am retired, I do not routinely go out to anywhere on a regular basis. When I did I used to get my shopping on the way in or the way out. Even when just doing the Yurts I used to combine my own shopping with shopping for the business.

But now being on a fixed state pension, as cannot afford the fuel for unnecessary trips.

So as I only go out rarely during the times shops are open and try to combine any shopping with trips with going out for another reason. The freezer is so key to why we can continue to live here.

So I delved through the freezer in my outhouse yesterday to find something for our dinner. Found it and made a lovely Jerk Chicken and rice and peas. For us and a friend staying here atm.

But the freezer in the shed, it is full!!!

So I had to take a lot out to find what I wanted. So I put a few thing behind me on a ledge.

Got what I wanted, took it down to the house. And at least when I got back from my failed attempt to see my doctor I did cook a really lovely meal with is. Not just for me and Barry, but for a friend too.

But I forgot totally I'd left the stuff I took out on a ledge behind the freezer??? Got to have been over £50 of food?

I remembered at 3am this morning!!!!

It woke me up and I have had no sleep since.Went up the shed where the freezer is to check and yes.................. I had left all this food out!!

So since 5.30am I have been cooking!!

To try to rescue this food? Just cannot afford to waste this food.

And I now feel so totally awful, dizzy, tired, in pain from my ankle, and back, and hand and a lot more....................................................................................

So while I made my 3.50pm appointment for the diabetic nurse today. The one I got wrong yesterday. But only because Barry reminded me and drove me to it!

I could never have driven myself today. So glad he could.~ But he has cancer.

It should be me looking after him right now!!!!

But the reality is it is him looking after me.

You may think this is funny.

And it is.In a way I do also.

But my mother had dementia. And many in her family.

Living with HIV I am more likely to get some form of it.~

So its not funny as I am very scare

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I still have such very good recall of things 15-20 or more years ago.
But sometimes I cannot remember what I did just now?

Given the history of dementia in the female side of the family.
And given that I live with HIV and not diagnosed until I was very ill, CD4 75 , and ill . Yet hubbies CD4 was 8 and he was more ill, but his memory seems OK

So may not be related ??
I am so very scared at the moment