Barry has prostate cancer. It was in remission but now it's spread.
He is on hormone treatment and starts radiotherapy very soon.
It's not about me. I don't have cancer.
But he does.
And I have absolutely no one to talk to or who understands.
But mostly I have no one.
He does not either.
___________________________________
That above was a cry from the heart when feeling down last night. I am better this morning.
However
I'm really feeling down at the moment and it is difficult as
it not 'all about me' or about me at all and I have to support my husband. But
my problem is I have no one to support me. Not in person. I only have people
online.
12 years or so ago I had many actual friends, who lived
nearby. Or so I though.
Now I have none.
No one even to talk too from one week to the
next in person, except Barry, and he is trying just to cope so I cannot expect
support from him, understandably.
And I guess it is selfish to think about me at a time like
this for Barry.
His prostate cancer was in remission for some years but has
returned and is now outside the prostate
He has been on hormone treatment - daily tablets and weekly
injections - for over a month, to shrink the nodules before radiotherapy and
perhaps chemo..
And has shingles is irritable - at least he has not had
uncontrollable bouts of crying and emotion that we were told was a possible
side effect - and is not feeling well.
Today he is off to the treatment center to discuss the
radiotherapy which will begin in the next few days.
I am so scared I will loose him.
And he has been my rock for so many years and I am scared I
can't be his rock now.
But I have to be. It is not me that has cancer.
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