Monday, 6 June 2016

I do not think I am cut out for the 'hospitality ' thing' ??

I do not think I am cut out for the 'hospitality ' thing'??


A very good friend at the time, Gelly, said when I first decided to let out Yurts, camping and the Studio flat to visitors 'are you sure? I am not sure you have the temperament for this?'

She was totally right, I don't. But I have done OK during the last 8 years or so.
As we/I had no choice.


We had both been diagnosed HIV positive??

Barry had lost his job and directly due to this. We had no money, few savings and a too big house and land to maintain and animals that depended on us.

And we were too traumatised at that point to even consider selling up and moving.~So we sunk the little savings we had into it and despite my 'temperament' we made it work!!!!!


But I guess now I have stopped my main business, the Yurts, I now have less patience?

The visitors three weeks ago seemed fine.
Except when as when they booked, it was as a couple I had only made up the one King size bed?

But when they arrived they did not want to share the same bed?? And said they thought it was a two bed apartment, when all my advertising plainly says it's a one room Studio flat!!!!

Even though she kept referring to him as her 'boyfriend'. She was aghast that she may have to sleeping the same bed with him!!

She was from Brazil he works for london transport and they were 49 and 50 years old, so not either young or I thought , inexperienced??

Not sure he realised she would not share his bed??

But OK , I made up the sofa bed and very quickly. But just wish they had made it clear before they arrived?

From then on it all went pretty smoothly.
And they were interesting visitors as visitors go.

As her grandfather was fascinatingly born and lived in Helston near us in Cornwall and she had always wanted to come here to see where he came from?? That is such great history and I chatted to her about her memories of her Cornish grandfather, who of course was a miner who once in Brazil for work, married a Brazilian girl and stayed and it was very informing and interesting!!

But I have to admit, I was a little taken aback, when she out of the blue,!!!!!!!!!!!!!

................. suddenly pulled me out of sight of her ' boyfriend' grabbed me by both hands, said ' I have something very important to tell you'

starred into my eyes and said - Jesus loves you, you are saved??

And tried to continue, still clutching both my hands and staring into my eye, telling me all about Jesus!! And how she knew and for sure, he had forgiven my 'sins'?

I was a bit relieved as I thought she was going to tell me about her sex life or lack of it, or to complain about the size of the room!!!! or that it was not 2 bedrooms??

I had no choice but to disengage from her and to say - but very nicely - so not to offend as I respect all peoples beliefs and religions and their rights to have them.

'Sorry I am not a christian and never will be? But I thank you so much for your thoughts.'


I have since realised she had looked me up on the internet - we supply free WiFi- and realised, as my name is easily Googled and we are open about this .......that we have both have HIV, that we live with HIV, and she then must have thought I am particular need of saving??

Very ironic as my husband got HIV from a women he met when working in Brazil ??

And I have been faithful to him since 1984!! what crap assumptions people make about those that live with HIV??

Not all are as religious as her or their religion says no to sex outside marriage - but each to their own? and I got HIV from sex, but with my husband who I am, of course, in any religion, 'allowed' to have sex with, without it being a sin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh well!! But her obviously staunch Catholicism explains why she was not willing to share a bed even at 49 years old and single, with the man who had paid for her ticket to England and was paying for her trip to see her roots.
But not sure he got it before he got here??

But that was OK. Their business , not mine.

So she, and he, mostly her, were fairly interesting. All went well during their stay. Until they left on the Saturday and the next people arrived the same afternoon for the flat?

I had spend since they left cleaning etc and it was a bit more dirty then than for most and with two beds to wash as well?

But fine. That is my job!

But it was not at all 'fine' in my book when the new visitors ran out of gas on their very first evening!!!!! -

I guess the women from Brazil felt the cold???? And OK I get this. but she burnt any profit we may had made that week and then some!!!

We have no mains up here so gas bottles does the heating and hot water in the Studio.

I had had two full 47KG bottles or propane connected when Mrs Brazil and partner arrived. Costing about £70 each. I usually recon in one bottle even in the middle of winter for the Studio flat, at most a week. But somehow it seems they had used two bottles??

Must have had the heating up full blast all 7 days and a shower two if not three times a day for both of them?? Cleaning away their sin perhaps as I am pretty certain they ended up sharing the same bed??!!! Do not ask me how I know this, TMI, but I do and they did!!!

But OK, this was their concern and the gas, I guess, it was not the new visitors worry it was ours.

So we panicked as we had no more gas bottles of that size that the Studio flat requires to effectively run the gas boiler. They are too big to collect ourselves and none could be delivered here until the following Wednesday. So we put a smaller bottle we use for our own gas cooker on it, Barry had to carry it, further hurting his bad back, and crossed our fingers it would do.

It did, thankfully. But we could not cook ourselves for a while. As could not get gas bottles delivered until the next Wednesday and then it was Sunday. But that was not their problem

As a family of two adults and two boys, paying to stay, they at the very least expect to have hot water and heating.

They were very good about it.~ that it took a while to get them hitched back on with gas.
~but it seems were not that enamored with what else we are offering in the studio?

The said in the visitors book..................

We have a lovely view but the Studio is too small?

Well we make it clear it's really suitable for couples but if you do want to save money on your family holiday and squash a couple of kids in as well, then that's fine by us and we will even supply the bedding and make up the Sofa bed.

But we can't make the room bigger!!!

They added we need to turn the sofa bed around so you can sit and look a the view while watching TV, or get a new sofa bed!

Totally impossible, there is not the room!? That sofa bed is the only one we have found that fits and it will only fit in one position - but heigh ho!!!

They further added that need to get a screen for between the king size bed and the sofa bed??

Well you are paying the price for a one bed Studio. And cheap even for that??

So in my view if you want to have nooky without your kids seeing , then I suggest you book a two bed apartment and pay the price for that, or just wait till you get home??

They also added that we need to get the lane fixed, as to bumpy and too narrow - Oh I soooooooooooo wish!!!!

We'd love to get the lane fixed!!!

It does not do our cars any good either.
Does anyone think we want to live up a lane that is like this??? If we had a choice???

But it is a 'non adopted lane/bridal way.
and not directly ours or any ones responsibility

~Yet in fact up until this year my husband went up and down the lane, every single year, for over 30 years!!!! filling potholes with concrete and bags of DIY ash-felt ....by hand.......for over 30 years!!

Occasionally others who use this lane have contributed something to keep it usable.

And in the many years until the last 10 years the farmer next door would occasionally get a load of ashfelt from a friend to fill the worse of the potholes and we would help him lay it.

But not in recent years and not ever our next door neighbors and not anyone as consistently as Barry for the last 30 years!!!!

But his back has now given out , finally. And he is just not capable of pushing wheelbarrows of concrete or whatever, up and down that lane!!

But we would always join in and contribute a fair share to get it solved.

But no one else who uses it seems to have any interest and some damage it far more than we ever have - i.e tractors, lorries and recently a JCB???!!!!!!!!!!!!! going up and down all the time, that really damages the lane etc.
When we have only ever driven cars up and down it??

But we cannot afford, not on our own, to put it right? To ash-felt, or whatever, it on our own, but we are here and always willing to contribute. If others would??

It seems no one else that uses it, has any interest whatsoever in paying anything to fix the lane??

This saga does not quite end there.


Those in the Studio until yesterday also did something that really got to me - they put toilet paper in the key hole in the door between us and filled up the gaps in the door with this and cushions and other stuff, between us and them?

To me this was a huge insult.??!
They could never hear any noise from us as we deliberately and carefully do not make any.

Hard to explain the situation - but

But the Studio we let was once our 'granny flat' for my mother in law.

It has its own en-suite bathroom, own heating, own front door. It is completely self contained from our house. But because it was built for our then over 80 year old MIL there was a connecting door built in between us to the house. For her then safety

But while we have not taken it out. As you never know when the Studio flat maybe needed for a one of us, a family member or a friend in need. In fact when I was in a wheelchair for 2 years or so I lived in there myself ........ with this door open between me and the rest of the house

But we have effectively since blocked it off, for all intents or purposes while we have strangers in there.

There is now a wardrobe over it on the Studio side.

Yes inside, when you open that cupboard, you can see the door, from that side. So I assume they thought we could hear or smell them and they us??

But on our side there is also another storage cupboard. Packed full of duvets, bedding towels and everything for letting the Studio and no noise or anything can get thought?

Least I did not think so?? We cannot hear or smell anything from anyone in the Studio and we are always very quiet.

I would love now and then to have a blast out from my stereo . Listen to music very loud and even now and then have friends around to do so with me.

But since we have let the flat, I have never dared and we creep around so as not to disturb anyone staying.

But what I am guessing happened this last week is...............

Barry sadly now has a very bad back. So unusually he was spending a lot of time on the sofa in the room just behind the Studio. He could not crawl upstairs, and he smokes, and a lot. especially when in pain. Then he smokes more.

OK we know he should not, for his health and it is not PC, But he does and it is his life and his ( and my) house??

But because we let out a small part of it to holiday visitors we have just have to suffer the huge embarrassment and the feeling that we are persons non grata, of our visitors stuffing toilet paper into the keyhole and around the door to keep out the smell, or noise, or whatever, from us???

And that is my point.

I am not suited to this 'hospitality ' lark. As it hurt me to be so non approved of.......by anyone.

Barry says 'stuff em ' and they know what we are offering and it is so very cheap ( when we go away anywhere we have never paid as little per night as our visitors do) and it is his business if he smokes or not etc.

But my feeling. If we let out any part of our house to anyone.......it is no longer our house?? Even though we struggled and for so many years to pay for it. As long as we have to let out even just part of it, it is not ours??
So wish we could afford not to do this at all anymore

But reality says ....we have no choice??

Not the end - to be continued
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