Yurts & Yurting again today

Yet another really busy day!


My sister arrived last night for a visit, as did new guests for the Yurt, we have new guests arriving today for the flat and today we have to put up the other Yurt to act as a marquee for my daughters friends wedding/hand fasting : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handfasting

I am now wondering if we did the right thing in embarking on this Yurt letting business in addition to letting out our flat?


As neither of us feel that well and we constantly have so much to do. When I first suggested it I felt that it would be a positive thing to do to run a small holiday letting business from our smallholding because as well as the extra income to supplement Barry's pension both of us are people who like to work and have a purpose, especially Barry and the holiday lettings are really his job not mine and we felt that to have this would extend our lives and well being.

But neither of us feel well enough to work outside the home for especially for an employer who might not understand when we have days we just can not function! To have a job and then let some one down some days would put us under more stress that we just do not need.

My difficulties are more due to mental/emotional health which is struggling as I still have not come to terms with what having HIV means for us and the rest of our lives, and I worry constantly about the possibility of Barry getting really ill again or even dying and leaving me on my own -

Despite all I love him so much and have for the last 30 years that he will die before me and horribly of AIDs, this is my biggest fear and dread!!

I also struggle due to my existing disability caused by my horse riding accident - some days I walk fine but I still have some really bad days especially in the winter. So for me it is others things than having HIV that make me not feel able to work outside things I can do on my smallholding. As I am physically healthier now than I was before I realized I had HIV and started the HIV antiretrovirals. Although having HIV does affect me too as I have med side effects the worse being constant diarrhea and nausea, dizzy spells and tiredness. And I now have problems with high blood pressure and high cholesterol for which I am having tests to see what can be done and what medication I need ( this is possibly due to the HIV meds, but what choice do I have it is take HIV meds or die of AIDs.

Some people I talk to seem to thing that this is not so, that some how people with HIV just do not die of AIDs now- btu the facts are - IF YOU DO NOT TAKE HIV MEDICATION EVENTUALLY ALL WITH HIV WILL STILL EVENTUALLY DIE OF AIDS!!

It is only the new very effective meds that mean we live longer and even then it is not guaranteed!

.............and I am not looking forward to going on any more medication - I hate even taking the HIV meds!!

However I did not have AIDS like Barry nor was I ever as ill as him - yet!- and I have less side effects than him to the drugs.

He gets terrible rashes, weakness, severe fatigue which means he often has to sleep in the day and goes to bed at around 8pm and his weight is so low now his tiny jeans, size 28, fall off him ) sometimes wish HIV made ME lose some weight!! I have put it on especially around my middle )

but he likes to have something to do

But I am beginning to wonder if it was a good idea and we should have just tried to relax and enjoy our lives without this pressure?

Because it has actually been one stressful thing after another.

First making the facilities like the toilet shower and the kitchen was a hard slog, mostly one that Barry did and took him all winter - and that was with him working everyday when he could.
Then the Yurt was not a simple to put up as we were told and we had severe probelms with water getting in which we have now solved, but it took us a while to work out how to solve them.

Since everything has been up we constantly have problems to deal with, Barry calls them teething problems but I am not so sure.

The gas boiler for the shower failed the morning some guests were due and we had to get a new one and Barry had to fit it in a couple of hours before the guests came, then the batteries for the toilets and 12 volt lighting were not holding their charge, not to mention high winds a couple of times nearly blew the yurt down!!!

As well as all this we have in the last month had car problems - still have Barry is trying to fix the car today - our fridge freezer broke a week pasts its warranty ended and we had to replace it, various other things have broken in the house and needed maintenance or repair. We still have 9 acers of land to maintain and have had to do fencing and cut back bracken and of course Barry has to cut the grass and maintain the outside areas for the lettings.

And of course as well as all this my older brother committed suicide!!

• So we are both feeling exhausted now and I am truly wondering if the Yurt was a good idea?

But it is too late for this year as we have bookings until September so we have to do it this year at least and we have promised to put the second Yurt up for this handfasting, so we had better get on with it!!

HIV meds or Not???

I was interested to read an article in this months Positive Nation Magazine about weather to take HIV antiretrovirals or to rely on 'Natropathic' treatments

• You can down load a copy of this magazine here: http://www.positivenation.co.uk/ or ask for a physical copy - every one who is HIV Poz can get a copy sent in the post every month.

I was interested because although I went on the meds and did not at the time dispute that I should, I have been in contact recently with several who do not take meds and do not want them despite for some, their CD4 levels going down below the level where it is recommended you start

And indeed some who have found that on 'Natropathic' treatments their CD4 levels have risen to a manageable level - but their virus load has not dropped as this seems only to happen with HIV antiretro's?

I think it is important for everyone with HIV to make their own decisions about meds and of course I do believe that your state of mind is so very important for your immune system so if you are not happy to go on meds you may not take them religiously as they have to be taken and also may be further stressed at the thought of havign to take them?

I have to say that I went on meds as by the time I was diagnosed my CD4s were already under the level that I should start.

And while I did not find it easy at first as I was scared of them - to be honest taking the meds I am on at the moment are now no problem at all ( mild digestive problems at times that means I sometimes need to be near a loo)but really nothing so bad I can not cope with easily - and I feel 100% better on them - I feel I have got my life back!!

I knew I was not well before I went on them but I did not realize how low I had become until I started he meds and started to feel so much better

And I know that this is not due to any placebo effect - I have faced many mental/emotional challenges in my life and am very self aware and I know that I feel better on the meds because I am better.

But who is to say alternative therapies do not work?

I have met some who are on them and are still alive and relatively well many years after HIV diagnosis who believe they do.

I am interested to know what others think?

Veritee